阅读记录
44、第 44 章
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傅羡好站在萧瑾承面前，心中翻滚着无数的情感，但她还是硬著心试图保持清醒。“您不打算放我离开吗？”hervoicebarelyaboveawhisper,filledwithdesperation.Emotionsclashedinhiseyes,andhetookastepclosertoher.“Whatdoyoumean?“heaskedsoftly,hisgazepiercingthroughthedarkness.
“您曾经说过，别把我送给太子，你是打算放我走的吗？”Shecouldn‘thelpbutwonderifshehadmisreadhim.Hadhereallybeenseriousaboutlettinghergo?Thethoughtsentashiverdownherspine.“Whydidyoudothat?“sheasked,tryingtokeephervoicesteady.
“BecauseIwantedtomakesureyou‘dbesafe,“hereplied,hiseyescloudingoverwithconcern.Heseemedtohesitateforamomentbeforeadding,“ButIhavetoadmit,I‘mgladIwaswrong.“Hisgazelockedontohers,andforamoment,theyjuststaredateachother.
“Why?“sheasked,hervoicebarelyaboveawhisper.Sheknewhe‘dbeengivenachoicebyhismother?toeithermarryherortakeoverthethrone.Butwhywouldhewanttogiveuphisrightfulplaceasking?Hermindracedwithquestions,butbeforeshecouldaskanyofthem,hespokeup.
“Idon‘tknow,“hesaid,hisvoicetingedwithfrustration.“Ijustdo.“Hetookastepclosertoher,andforthefirsttime,shesawthevulnerabilitybehindhiseyes.Foramoment,shefeltlikeshewaslookingatastranger?apersonwhowastiredoflivinguptoexpectations,tiredofbeingtreatedlikeatool.
“Iwanttoknowwhy,“shesaid,hervoicefirmnow.Sheneededanswers,andshewasn‘tgoingtoleavewithoutthem.Hesighed,rubbingthebackofhisneckbeforespeakingup.
“BecauseIdon‘twanttobekinganymore,“hesaid,hisvoicelacedwithdespair.“I‘vebeendoingitforsolong,butit‘snotwhatIwant.I‘mtiredofbeinginapositionwhereeveryonelooksatmedifferently.Ijustwanttobeabletomakemyowndecisions,withouthavingtoconsiderthefateofthekingdom.“
Hereyeswidenedasshelistenedtohiswords.Shehadneverseenhimlikethisbefore?vulnerableandscared.Foramoment,sheforgotaboutherownproblemsandjustfeltasurgeofcompassionforhim.Helookedsolost,soalone.Butthenhespokeup,andherheartsank.
“Besides,“hesaid,hisvoicedrippingwithsarcasm,“I‘msureyou‘dmakeagreatqueenanyway.“Hiswordsstung,andshefeltapangofhurt.Howcouldhesaysuchthingstoher?Didn‘theknowthatshewasfightingforherownhappiness,notjusthersbutalsothefutureofthekingdom?
Butbeforeshecouldrespond,hecontinued.
“Look,I‘msorry,“hesaid,hisvoicefilledwithregret.“Ididn‘tmeantohurtyou.It‘sjust...sometimesIfeellikeI‘mlivingsomeoneelse‘slife.LikeI‘mapuppetonstrings,andeveryoneispullingthemarionette.“Helookedather,hiseyespleadingforunderstanding.
Shefeltalumpforminherthroatasshelistenedtohiswords.Sheknewexactlywhathewastalkingabout?theweightofexpectations,thepressureoflivinguptosomeoneelse‘sstandards.Butforhim,itseemedlikeaninsurmountableburden.
“Maybewecanfindawayoutofthistogether,“shesaidsoftly,hervoicebarelyaboveawhisper.Shetookastepclosertohim,andforthefirsttime,hesawthesincerityinhereyes.“Iwanttohelpyou,Lemeng.“
傅羡好站在萧瑾承面前，心中翻滚着无数的情感，但她还是硬著心试图保持清醒。“您不打算放我离开吗？”hervoicebarelyaboveawhisper,filledwithdesperation.Emotionsclashedinhiseyes,andhetookastepclosertoher.“Whatdoyoumean?“heaskedsoftly,hisgazepiercingthroughthedarkness.
“您曾经说过，别把我送给太子，你是打算放我走的吗？”Shecouldn‘thelpbutwonderifshehadmisreadhim.Hadhereallybeenseriousaboutlettinghergo?Thethoughtsentashiverdownherspine.“Whydidyoudothat?“sheasked,tryingtokeephervoicesteady.
“BecauseIwantedtomakesureyou‘dbesafe,“hereplied,hiseyescloudingoverwithconcern.Heseemedtohesitateforamomentbeforeadding,“ButIhavetoadmit,I‘mgladIwaswrong.“Hisgazelockedontohers,andforamoment,theyjuststaredateachother.
“Why?“sheasked,hervoicebarelyaboveawhisper.Sheknewhe‘dbeengivenachoicebyhismother?toeithermarryherortakeoverthethrone.Butwhywouldhewanttogiveuphisrightfulplaceasking?Hermindracedwithquestions,butbeforeshecouldaskanyofthem,hespokeup.
“Idon‘tknow,“hesaid,hisvoicetingedwithfrustration.“Ijustdo.“Hetookastepclosertoher,andforthefirsttime,shesawthevulnerabilitybehindhiseyes.Foramoment,shefeltlikeshewaslookingatastranger?apersonwhowastiredoflivinguptoexpectations,tiredofbeingtreatedlikeatool.
“Iwanttoknowwhy,“shesaid,hervoicefirmnow.Sheneededanswers,andshewasn‘tgoingtoleavewithoutthem.Hesighed,rubbingthebackofhisneckbeforespeakingup.
“BecauseIdon‘twanttobekinganymore,“hesaid,hisvoicelacedwithdespair.“I‘vebeendoingitforsolong,butit‘snotwhatIwant.I‘mtiredofbeinginapositionwhereeveryonelooksatmedifferently.Ijustwanttobeabletomakemyowndecisions,withouthavingtoconsiderthefateofthekingdom.“
Hereyeswidenedasshelistenedtohiswords.Shehadneverseenhimlikethisbefore?vulnerableandscared.Foramoment,sheforgotaboutherownproblemsandjustfeltasurgeofcompassionforhim.Helookedsolost,soalone.Butthenhespokeup,andherheartsank.
“Besides,“hesaid,hisvoicedrippingwithsarcasm,“I‘msureyou‘dmakeagreatqueenanyway.“Hiswordsstung,andshefeltapangofhurt.Howcouldhesaysuchthingstoher?Didn‘theknowthatshewasfightingforherownhappiness,notjusthersbutalsothefutureofthekingdom?
Butbeforeshecouldrespond,hecontinued.
“Look,I‘msorry,“hesaid,hisvoicefilledwithregret.“Ididn‘tmeantohurtyou.It‘sjust...sometimesIfeellikeI‘mlivingsomeoneelse‘slife.LikeI‘mapuppetonstrings,andeveryoneispullingthemarionette.“Helookedather,hiseyespleadingforunderstanding.
Shefeltalumpforminherthroatasshelistenedtohiswords.Sheknewexactlywhathewastalkingabout?theweightofexpectations,thepressureoflivinguptosomeoneelse‘sstandards.Butforhim,itseemedlikeaninsurmountableburden.
“Maybewecanfindawayoutofthistogether,“shesaidsoftly,hervoicebarelyaboveawhisper.Shetookastepclosertohim,andforthefirsttime,hesawthesincerityinhereyes.“Iwanttohelpyou,Lemeng.“